A Dictionary of Gráinne’s Terms

 


The following phrases may be combined, maximum three. For example: “Go upstairs, get your toy and bring it here”.

No!

My first word; at first for universal use to spoil all of Party Girl’s fun; sometimes replaced with a threatening “uh-uh”; often in combination with a favourite activity, e.g. “no pulling, no biting, no begging”

Tactic: Pretend you haven’t heard a thing, continue action.
 

Aus!

My only word of German. Daddy taught it to me in desperation. Cut it out! Now! Or else!
 

Down!

Get Those Dirty Feet Off My Clean Clothes!

(Why buy a Wheaten if you don’t want a Wheaten Greetin’?)
 

Wheaten Greetin’

Mummy missed Gráinne and needs big hugs and a lot of kisses.

[ed. note: Wheatens do this and the legendary Wheaten Whirl instinctively and only have to connect the terms with these favorite actions. If you get dizzy easily or don’t like hugging, you might consider a different breed.]
 

Wheaten Whirl

spin around to show great enthusiasm or high expectation; often combined  with Wheaten Greetin’ for a three-dimensional welcome.

 

Daddy’s home

= best reason for Wheaten Whirl and Wheaten Greetin’.

Tactic: Leave out the last 3-4 stairs and beat Mummy to the front door. If you hear the car first, don’t tell Mummy; take advantage of head start
 

Daddy

a girl’s best friend, always good for an excuse for a treat or some cuddling in front of  the TV.
 

Mummy

The lady who disciplines you,  fills your snack ball, takes you for walks and tortures you in hour-long combing sessions. Also bakes tuna treats and liver cake for Gráinne and Friends
 

I love you

Mummy’s theme song. Usually means Gráinne is behaving or looking like an angel
 

Gimme a kiss

Mummy’s getting mushy. Humor her.

 

Good girl

opposite of “no”; continue present behavior; frequently followed by treat or some scratching behind the ears.
 

Good doggie

good girl
 

Good ...!

Success!!! See: sit, stay, heel, piddle
 

Sit

can mean good stuff like treats, e.g. in connection with “gimme five”. Occasionally used to spoil the party, however.
 

Lie

only obey this one if there is a chance of “roll over” to follow. That is followed by a treat
 

Stay

Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.
 

Sit stay

This is used to impress Mummy and Daddy’s friends when we go for a walk. Mummy deposits me with the word „sitstay“ and walks off nonchalantly, hoping fervently that I won’t bolt and make a fool of her. Pretending to trust me completely, she strides on for 50 meters, sneaking a peek over her shoulder every 15 steps. When she flips around, throwing her arms out wide, announcing „OK! Come!“, I tear over to her, screeching to a stop in front of the pocket holding the  tuna treats.
 

Hold still

Put in eye drops, remove a twig from my Velcro fur, untangle my leash, comb my hair (yuck!)
 

Come!

Leave the scent you are tracing, the mouse hole you’re digging or whatever else you’re enjoying; move to speaker and pray for immediate release. Tactic: Forget it; it’s not worth spoiling the fun.
 

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